I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
