So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize