i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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