I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
