We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
