So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
