I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
