sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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