it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
