I wannas sexs uuuuu
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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