Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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