yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
