You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
