I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
