even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
