yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize