wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
