I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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