He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize