The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
