you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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