Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
