I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
