Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
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Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
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ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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