i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
we're so committed to being not committed
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
