I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
your like the ambassador to my penis.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
