If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
