What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
