Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
