This girl is more easily done than said...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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