You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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