i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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