did you get engaged???
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
