I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
and she was petting her beer can
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
