I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The uberlube is also flammable
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
