But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
