I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
