your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize