I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize