so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
