whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
