I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
