Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
