I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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