Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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