I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
There was a lot of him and a little penis
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
