Quick, to the slutcave!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
