I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
