please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
