I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
