May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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