She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
