Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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