I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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