My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
