it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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