I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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