went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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