i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
