Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
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At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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