Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i out mim tonsoeep
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
