Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
