Kiss
Puke
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
false alarm, still single
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
