I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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