There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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