talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
